What FutureCat needs

Yeah, I know, I said I never do these quiz things, but this one amused me, especially when I tried it out (just taking the first ten, rather than the applicable ones):

1. FutureCat needs a cold shower.
   It *is* quite warm today, but I didn’t think it was that bad yet.
2. FutureCat needs a smack daddy.
   Do I? I don’t even know what a smack daddy is, and I suspect I wouldn’t like it if I did.
3. FutureCat needs to be a biatch!!!
   Um, I’d rather not be, if that’s ok with you (anyway, cats are queens, not “biatches”).
4. FUTURECAT NEEDS EXPLANATION!!!!!!
   I’ve often thought that! I’m not normally quite so emphatic about it, though.
5. Poetry by FutureCat: Needs a title
   But I haven’t written any poetry since high school, and I’m sure I used to always give my poems titles (in fact, my titles were usually better than the poems!).
6. But the competition is getting tougher, so FutureCat needs to keep on improving.
   Ah, so I need to go back and give my poems *better* titles, is that what you’re saying?
7. FutureCat needs to do five things.
   Well actually, according to the rules of this game, I need to do ten things.
8. But if the people are emotionally needy, then FutureCat needs space.
   I think I need space anyway. Otherwise, I’d be all jammed in amongst things and I wouldn’t be able to move, or breath… or exist, really. Space is good.
9. FutureCat needs a tutor who can help a client with their Probability Exam in the Somerville area.
   Hang on, I can do probability! Why do I need someone else to do the tutoring? Oh yeah, probably because I don’t know where Somerville is…
10. FutureCat needs the earth energy in her life to learn how to ground and be more practical.
    Ground isn’t a verb. However, I know how to *grind* coffee, and use a grinder to put an edge on tools, and I think I remember how to use a grinder on a yacht. I think that’s quite practical.
11. With her representational style, FutureCat needs heavy visual depiction of her subject in order for it all to work.
    Well I *am* a union rep now. Though I don’t think I’ve been doing it long enough to have a representational style. And I’m sure I can make sense of the job without needing pictures.
    (Yes, I know, I’m supposed to stop at 10, but this is too amusing (well, *I’m* amused, anyway!))
12. FutureCat needs help.
    Quiet in the cheap seats!
13. FutureCat needs to be charged for her crime.
    Crime? What did I do??? Unless you mean the fact that I’m wasting company time and resources playing on the internet when I should be working – does that count as “theft as a servant”? *FutureCat looks anxiously over her shoulder to make sure her boss isn’t looking*
14. FutureCat needs an adviser with exceptional listening skills.
    That’s ‘cos I talk so quietly.
15. Feeling that FutureCat needs a tutor to help her, Drake hires Lauri Parrish, a teacher for the deaf.
    See?
16. Oregon is just where FutureCat needs to be to let her creative juices flow.
    That must be why the titles of my poems are so unsatisfactory: I’ve never been to Oregon.
17. FutureCat’s butt is so big, it needs its own limousine.
    Now that’s just cruel! I’m sure I could fit it into a much smaller car… (and if you recognised the quote, you can probably guess which name I really put into the search engine)
18. FutureCat needs to repay at least 10K to the authorities.
    Okay, but what are the 10 Ks I need to repay? 10 kb of internet usage? (I’m sure I’ve used more than that!) 10 kg of sausages? 10 kittens?
19. It’s not everyday FutureCat needs my help.
    Yes it is! You said up above I need help.
20. FutureCat needs to do more and customers should take this matter as a reason to stay away from this terrible retailer.
    I agree with the needing to do more (right now, I need to do more work), but I’m not a terrible retailer! I’m not a retailer at all.
21. FutureCat needs to decide whether or not to recommend this collection.
    I think I probably don’t recommend it – it’s getting a bit long now, after all, and probably everyone else has got bored and stopped reading… oh, go on, just one more:
22. FutureCat needs the Bachelor of Science degree in psychology she holds just to keep tabs on the 40 plus employees here.
    I haven’t actually got my psych degree yet, but I am working on it. I don’t think I should comment on its applicability to my colleagues, though…

Ok, ok, I’ll stop now.